After five years of marriage, one woman faces a big problem: her mother-in-law. From the start, her MIL made it clear she didn’t approve, using rude comments and even causing trouble on purpose. The woman tried to keep the peace, but after a recent incident, she’d had enough. Here’s what happened when she decided to stand up for herself.
We received a letter from Kate sharing her story about her MIL.
She began her story by talking about the early days with her husband, Daryl.
“My husband and I have been together for five years. Everything in our relationship is great, except for one big problem: his mother. My MIL has never liked me. From the moment we met, I could feel her cold attitude and small insults. While we were dating, she kept hinting that Daryl wouldn’t stay with me. She even called me by his exes’ names, like she wasn’t even trying to remember mine.”
“She’s never shown me respect. Once, on my birthday, she gave me a gift that was clearly meant for someone else—a towel set with the initials ‘A.M.’ They weren’t even close to mine. When I pointed it out, she just shrugged and said, ‘Oh well, I guess I mixed things up.’ Daryl tried to excuse it, saying she was forgetful, but I knew better. It felt like she was sending a message.
Another time, at a family gathering, she praised Daryl’s ex right in front of me. She talked about how she was ‘the perfect match for him’ and how ‘no one could replace her.’ It was humiliating. Daryl awkwardly laughed, but I was so embarrassed. It’s not that I don’t get along with people—most of his family is great. But with her, it’s like everything I do is wrong.”
“The hardest part is that no matter how much I try to be nice or connect with her, it’s never returned. She criticizes my career, our home, and even my cooking. Daryl and I have talked about it many times. While he supports me, he’s also stuck in the middle. I know he loves his mom and wants to keep things calm, but sometimes it feels like I’m the only one trying to avoid conflict.
I honestly feel like my MIL is trying to ruin our marriage. She visits almost every day since she lives just down the street. And every time she comes, she does something to make me feel like I don’t belong in my own home. She throws out my cooking, saying her son shouldn’t eat that ‘junk,’ as she calls it. She even takes my clothes and makeup, claiming that since it’s her son’s house, it’s hers too, and everything here is fair game.
She even demanded that we put my 12-year-old chihuahua to sleep, saying she suddenly had an allergy to dogs, something she’d never mentioned before. When I suggested we meet at her house instead, she just laughed.”
“Once, I caught her in my bedroom trying on jewelry my husband gave me. When I asked what she was doing, she said, ‘This would look so much better on me.’ I was so shocked I didn’t know how to respond. When I told my husband, he didn’t see anything wrong with her behavior. Instead, he said he’d get her the same necklace so she wouldn’t feel left out.
But what happened recently was too much—she crossed the line. She had made a fence with the dog gate around the couch to keep Molly, our dog, away. When I asked why, she said Molly had been aggressive and bothering her, so she fenced her in.
I told her Molly is an old dog who needs comfort and that she was sitting in Molly’s usual spot. I was already upset with her behavior, and I finally snapped.
I told her this is MY HOUSE and she doesn’t get to make the rules or decisions here, especially about my dog.
My husband is furious, saying I made a big deal out of nothing and hurt his mother.
I gave him an ultimatum: it’s either me or his mother. He’s been ignoring this issue for too long, and it’s wearing me down. Her behavior is hurting my mental health, and I can’t keep living like this.
I’m hoping some outside opinions can help me understand if I’m overreacting.
