Respect and loyalty are key to a healthy relationship. But when these are lacking, things can go wrong quickly. One man shared how his girlfriend changed after starting her new job, and it caused problems.
The story:
I’ve lived with my girlfriend for two years, and everything was great in the beginning. We got along well, spent time together, and had a good balance between our personal lives and being a couple.
But a few months ago, she started working as an influencer. At first, it was just a fun hobby for her—some pictures, a few videos—nothing too serious. I was happy for her and proud that she found something she liked doing. But soon, things got out of hand.
Now, our apartment is her studio. Every corner is set up for photos, and every room is used for her videos. When I come home tired from work, all I want is to relax, but right away, she’s filming me for “content.” Sometimes, even our private conversations are recorded without my permission and end up online.
One time, she posted part of a conversation where I shared something personal that I didn’t want made public. I tried to talk to her about it, but she just brushed it off, saying I was overreacting and that it’s “just part of her job.” Over time, it’s been wearing me down. I feel like I can’t relax in my own home without worrying about being filmed or photographed.
Recently, I came home and once again found myself “on camera,” so I decided to have a serious talk with her. I told her I understand that her influencer career is important, but for me, it’s too much. I suggested maybe she should move out, not because I want to break up, but because I need space where I don’t feel constantly watched.
She was really upset. She said I was being selfish and not supporting her career. She accused me of trying to hold her back and sabotage her success. Now, we barely talk, and I feel like my needs and privacy aren’t respected. I understand she’s excited about her job, but am I really wrong for wanting some space and privacy in my own home?
Many people shared their fresh perspectives on the conflict.
- “Your GF is being selfish and ignorant for not respecting your privacy. Also, she had no right to publish the personal conversation you mentioned without getting your consent before. She is using you in a way that you don’t have to tolerate.
- “I worked in digital for more than a decade and am a private person (I’d never be an influencer). All I can say is PRIVACY LAWS – also a big part of the job. She’s filming you without consent in a private dwelling. Report those videos, tell her to keep business hours, and LEARN ABOUT CONSENT!
Oh, and professionalism is part of the job, this ain’t it. She can’t treat anyone this way and expect collabs. If this fails, tell her you’ll post her behavior online – let her followers decide if she insists.
- “Breaking up with her would give her so much content to post online that would be supportive of her career. Win-win.
- “It’s not cool for someone to record you without asking, and it’s definitely not fair for them to take over shared space without considering how it affects you. In a good relationship, people listen to each other and try to find solutions that work for everyone. You deserve to feel comfortable and respected in your own home.
- “It sounds like things have really shifted since your girlfriend started her influencer career, and it’s understandable that you’re feeling overwhelmed by the constant filming and lack of consent over what gets shared. You’ve tried to communicate your feelings, and it’s tough when those concerns aren’t taken seriously.
- Wanting your own space to relax and be yourself is completely valid, and suggesting she consider moving out isn’t about sabotaging her success—it’s about protecting your own mental well-being. It’s important in any relationship for both partners to feel comfortable and respected, and right now, it seems like you’re not getting that.
