I’m really angry because my ex-husband’s girlfriend crossed boundaries with our young daughter

A 35-year-old woman recently shared a troubling incident in her family. She’s divorced and has a young daughter who spends time with her ex-husband and his new girlfriend. Everything seemed okay until the mom discovered something concerning about how her daughter and the new girlfriend interacted. The mom found this behavior very inappropriate and shocking. She wrote to us asking our readers for their opinions on the situation.

Vanessa parted ways with her husband a year ago.

A woman named Vanessa, who is 35 years old, recently wrote to our editors seeking opinions on a complicated situation she’s dealing with. She feels justified in being upset about what happened to her young daughter. At the same time, she doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings with her reaction.

In her letter, Vanessa explained, “My husband Josh and I split up a year ago. Our divorce was so smooth that others might envy how well we handled it. We both had moved on emotionally and were only living together for the sake of our daughter, Miranda. Soon after, we each started new relationships, feeling it was time to move forward from our marriage.”

Vanessa shared, “We worked hard to make sure our divorce didn’t affect Miranda. We both spend a lot of time with her, joining in her activities and cherishing her as our top priority, just like before. Miranda is very perceptive, so she understood something was changing between us. But because we kept treating her the same way, she seemed okay with everything.”

Both spouses entered a new relationship with other people.

Vanessa continues her story, saying, “I’m currently dating a man named Frank, but I haven’t introduced him to Miranda yet. I want to make sure our relationship is serious before I do.”

“My ex-husband also has a girlfriend, Kylie, and they’ve been together for 5 months. I haven’t met Kylie in person, but Miranda visits them, and I didn’t mind their relationship. In fact, I was glad they got along so well that Miranda praised Kylie and liked her.”

Vanessa clarified, “I was genuinely happy that my daughter had another caring woman in her life. I looked forward to meeting Kylie and thanking her for her kindness towards our daughter. I’m not jealous at all and feel completely at ease with Kylie being in my ex’s and daughter’s lives. But one thing did upset me.”

Vanessa discovered an unpleasant thing about her daughter’s communication with the girlfriend.

Vanessa continues her story, saying, “Miranda often goes to her dad’s place with Kylie, and she loves spending time there. Her dad picks her up three times a week, sometimes more. I always keep track of where they go and what they do because it’s important to me. My ex-husband knows this, so he updates me on their activities, and Miranda tells me about the fun things they do.”

She explained, “I know Kylie takes care of Miranda, like brushing her hair or buying her things. I was fine with that. But last week, when Miranda came home from their place, I could tell something was bothering her.”

Vanessa revealed, “When I gently asked Miranda why she seemed sad, she said she lost her rubber duckling and was upset about it. I asked why she brought her rubber duckling to her dad’s place, since it was only meant for baths and showers at home—that was her routine. As far as I knew, she only took it to the bathroom at home. That’s when Miranda told me that Kylie had been giving her baths. It had happened many times, and this time they lost her duckling in Kylie’s bathroom.”

Vanessa is appalled at the incident and she wants to express her opinion.

Vanessa wrote, “I’m really upset that Kylie bathed my daughter. What bothers me even more is that she did it more than once. This wasn’t an emergency—it seemed like a regular thing between her and my young daughter. I feel very uncomfortable about this. I think it’s inappropriate, and there should be a clear boundary about bathing my child, unless it’s an emergency.”

She said, “I fully support Kylie being involved in other aspects of interacting with our child, but I feel I need to speak up about this and tell her not to bathe Miranda. Do you think I’m reacting too strongly? Should I talk to my ex-husband or Kylie directly about this, or should I ignore it and act like it doesn’t bother me? What would you do if you were in my situation?”

And here’s a confession from a woman who became involved with a married man and ended up breaking up his family. She hoped for a perfect relationship with him, but now she’s revealing how it all turned into a nightmare.

 

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