Ex-wives and ex-husbands can cause problems in new relationships. Sometimes, people can’t let go of their exes, which stresses and frustrates the new partners.

Today, we have a story about a woman in a tough marriage situation. She is asking for advice on how to handle a conflict with her husband’s ex, who keeps interfering in their lives and making things difficult. This woman wrote us a letter with more details about her complicated family situation.

Anna and Paul met when they were both single.

Anna, a 36-year-old, wrote us about her family problems. She knows our readers often give good advice on tough life situations. Anna asked for help to understand if anything can be done about her problem. She is open to all opinions and ready for any criticism.

Anna started her letter by saying, “I am 33 years old, and I’m married to a wonderful man, Paul. This is the second marriage for both of us. I divorced my ex-husband after 2 unhappy years. We ended our marriage without any drama and both agreed it was a mistake. I have no contact with my ex and focus completely on my new family, which I thought was happy. That changed when someone interfered with our relationship.”

“My husband Paul divorced his wife 4 years ago. I met him while he was still divorcing, and he always said there was no drama in his breakup. My husband and his ex have always had a complicated and strange relationship. They have 2 kids together, and I expected to have contact with his ex because of the kids, which was fine with me. I believed their divorce was mutual and thought I had nothing to worry about. I was living a normal life and planning for the future when things started to get very unhealthy.

Anna continues her story, saying, “To my great shock, my husband’s ex started using the kids to punish Paul whenever they disagreed. She took him to court to get more child support, and when she didn’t win, she stopped letting him see the kids at all.”

“After divorcing Paul, she married and divorced two other men. She kept changing the kids’ father figures but wouldn’t let Paul see them, and he didn’t push because he didn’t want to upset the kids. This was very stressful for Paul, and it affected our family too. I got pregnant and had a miscarriage because I was always nervous, seeing my husband so sad and worried about his ex and the kids. But then, things got even worse. Her last marriage fell apart, and she started manipulating even more.”

Anna explains, “Suddenly, this woman called Paul and said she wanted him to be the father figure again, even though he had to fight to see the kids all these years. Of course, Paul was happy and started visiting the kids regularly.”

“From the start, it was clear the kids were turned against Paul. They were rude and disrespectful, always taking jabs at him. We tried hard to rebuild a healthy relationship, but the kids, especially the oldest, resisted and blamed Paul for not seeing them regularly before, even though their mother had blocked him from seeing them.”

“Meanwhile, Paul’s ex started behaving even more strangely. She’s very petty. Whenever Paul visited the kids, she’d show up dressed provocatively, trying to seduce him. He told me about this, and it added to the stress. I still don’t know what to do about this nightmare. It feels like she’s playing a sick game and trying to provoke me.”

Anna says, “Paul hasn’t been able to rebuild his bond with the oldest kid. The boy doesn’t want to see his dad and never responds to texts or calls. Recently, he messaged saying he wanted to visit us, which made Paul happy but not me. I feel the boy only visits to get birthday gifts from his dad. Otherwise, he has no interest in contact with us. It’s clear he just wants birthday money and then disappears until the next birthday.”

“My husband wants to allow the visit, and I understand, but I don’t think we should give him any gifts. I think we should take him out for a birthday dinner and buy him a cake, and that’s it. Paul wants to give him a big gift, but I’m against it because I feel we’re being used. If the boy visited at other times, I’d understand.”

“My husband and I share finances, so I feel I have a right to say I’m not comfortable with this. What should I do in this tough situation? I’m lost, and I have so many thoughts in my head, and nothing seems right at the moment.”