A woman shared her story on Reddit about her brother. He always had a wild look: sometimes a mullet, other times a buzz cut, and even a mohawk. He liked bright hair colors, facial piercings, and had tattoos all over his body. Normally, she didn’t mind—it was his body. But with her wedding coming up, things changed.
They were planning a beach wedding, and her brother was going to be one of the groomsmen.
“I don’t care about his hairstyle or that his piercings and tattoos will show. My only request is that he covers one specific tattoo. When my brother was in college, he got a tattoo of a woman’s privates on his chest without thinking,” she shared.
Since the wedding was at the beach, the groomsmen would wear slightly open button-down shirts, which meant the tattoo would be visible. She asked him to cover it just for the wedding, but he got very upset and said, “my body, my choice.” He even said he wouldn’t come to the wedding if he had to cover it.
She accepted his decision but felt uneasy about it.
She explained that she understood it was his body, but she didn’t want her guests to see that tattoo at her wedding or in her wedding photos. While her family was used to it, her fiancé’s family might be shocked or offended. Her brother called her a bridezilla and said she was being unreasonable.
She clarified that it wasn’t her who chose the groomsmen’s outfits. Her fiancé picked the casual beach attire with only two buttons undone, thinking it would cover the tattoo. However, the tattoo was right between her brother’s pecs, so about a third of it, including the most noticeable part, was still visible.
She couldn’t imagine getting married without him there and was surprised he’d miss her wedding over this. They even offered a compromise: all the groomsmen could either completely button their shirts or wear undershirts. But now that her brother knew these options were to cover his tattoo, he felt they were censoring his freedom of expression.
She also mentioned there wouldn’t be any little kids at the wedding, but there would be a few teenagers under 18. In the end, she found herself torn between respecting her brother’s choice and having the wedding she envisioned without causing a scene or offending anyone. What do you think? What would you do?
People stood by her side.
- “Asking him to cover up an illustration of a woman’s private part is completely reasonable.
- “You’re not demanding that he remove his piercings. You’re not demanding that he have ‘normal’ hair. You’re not demanding he cover up all of his tattoos. You are requesting that he cover up a vulgar tattoo for 1 day only. One day.”
- “You are asking him to cover up an explicit image during your wedding; that is a reasonable ask.”
- “It’s not a tattoo that has deep spiritual meaning for him, and you’re not asking him to cover up or change his look in any other way. It’s just to avoid the explicit image in your wedding pics.”
