Many brides think about their bridesmaids long before getting married. One bride chose her cousin for this important role, but then found out her cousin, who just started dating the bride’s ex, wants to bring him as her guest to the wedding.
Here is her story.
“My cousin is dating my ex, who I broke up with on good terms. Even though I don’t have feelings for him anymore, I don’t want him at my wedding, a very important day for me. Their relationship is new, and if they break up, my cousin might be glad he’s not in any wedding photos.”
“When my cousin asked to bring her boyfriend, I said no. She got upset and tried to argue. Frustrated, I told her that if she insisted, I would prefer she not come at all. Now she’s angry with me.
I understand her side, but I feel she’s not thinking about my feelings and my partner’s. Am I wrong for standing firm on this?
Here’s what people had to say about this.
- “My question is why in the hell would the ex want to be there? I’m not filled with hate for any of my exes, but I don’t even want to talk to them on the phone. I would never consider attending their wedding.”
- “One of my exes was my husband’s best man at our wedding. It wasn’t weird because we parted as friends, knowing we weren’t right for each other. He introduced me to my husband. It wasn’t weird for any of us. It’s your wedding, so you can invite or not invite anyone you choose. Just consider what you may be doing to the relationship with your cousin. It sounds like you may not be as okay with her dating your ex as you are trying to make it seem.”
- “First, good on you that you’re not making a thing of the fact they are dating as many people would. You don’t have a veto over who either of them dates. However, you do have a veto over who is invited to your wedding. Having your ex would be inappropriate, particularly if he’s there with your cousin. I agree that you should uninvite your cousin. ”
- “Your cousin wants to bring your ex of an almost 4-year-long relationship to your wedding, even though she’d only been seeing him for 4 months. That is unhinged; she’s feeling insecure about him having been such a big part of your life and wants some sort of validation out of this. Don’t let her use YOUR WEDDING to act on her weird issues. Put your partner first like your instinct is telling you to, not your cousin. Never mind her emotions about it!”
