The journey of childbirth is tough, especially when partners prepare for it together. Today, we hear from a woman whose life seemed perfect until her baby arrived, bringing unexpected challenges. Seeking advice, she reached out to us, sharing her story and asking for help with a difficult situation in her family.

We received an anonymous letter asking for advice.

The main character of our story is a 30-year-old woman who chose to stay anonymous (editor’s note: names in this story are made up). In her letter, she described a moment that should have been a happy milestone, but her husband’s actions cast a shadow over it.

She begins her letter, “My husband Mark and I have been together for 6 years. Recently, I gave birth to our first child. During my pregnancy, Mark and I decided to experience labor together. We attended all the classes, read parenting books, and planned everything carefully. I thought we were both excited to welcome our baby together.”

“The day of delivery came. Despite the pain and exhaustion, holding our newborn son was the happiest moment of my life. Mark seemed overjoyed, with tears in his eyes filled with pride and love. He held our baby gently, marveling at his tiny features. It felt like our dreams had come true, and I believed our bond had grown stronger through this shared experience.”

She continues, “A few hours later, I started breastfeeding our son. When Mark walked in, his face showed an expression I couldn’t understand. He looked pale and shocked, as if about to be sick. He stood there watching us for a moment before abruptly leaving the room. He disappeared suddenly.”

“For the next three hours, I searched the hospital, asking staff if they had seen him and calling his phone repeatedly with no answer. I was beyond furious. This wasn’t how I imagined spending our child’s birth day. By evening, he finally texted me, saying, ‘What you did is disgusting. You made me feel like I was betrayed.'”

“This is what he wrote to me afterward.”

Her husband felt deeply hurt and betrayed.

At that moment, I felt like my whole world had crumbled. I was prepared for challenges, but this was something I never expected. I couldn’t believe nurturing our son could be seen as a betrayal. I tried explaining the natural bond between a mother and child, and how important breastfeeding is for our baby’s health and growth. But Mark couldn’t understand. He was stuck in feelings of jealousy and confusion.”

“In the weeks that followed, we argued constantly, shed many tears, and tried unsuccessfully to make peace. Mark’s feelings didn’t change. He felt left out and replaced by our son. My attempts to reassure him only made things worse.”

The woman fought hard to save her marriage, but her husband’s beliefs were too strong.

“We went to counseling, but even the therapist couldn’t change Mark’s irrational beliefs. His sense of betrayal was too deep, overshadowing the love we once had. He started spending more time away from home, avoiding me when I nursed our son, and withdrawing into his own world of hurt and resentment.”

“The following months were a blur of legal processes, moving out, and adjusting to life as a single mother. Mark and I only spoke when necessary, and the emotional distance between us became permanent. What’s surprising is that he still wants joint custody.”

Closing her letter, she writes, “I don’t know if anyone else has been through this, but I hope someone can offer me advice. I love my husband, and this reason for divorce seems completely unfair to me. Should I keep trying to save our marriage, or is it time to let go?”

First of all, we’re truly sorry that you’re going through such a tough and confusing time. Dealing with marital problems, especially ones that seem unreasonable, is incredibly challenging. Your message clearly shows how much you care about your husband and value your marriage.

You mentioned that counseling hasn’t helped much so far, but it might be worth trying again with a different therapist. Sometimes, finding the right professional can make a big difference. A therapist can help facilitate discussions and provide tools to improve communication and understanding between you both.

Educate your husband about the proven benefits of breastfeeding for your baby’s health. Sometimes, fears or misunderstandings stem from lack of knowledge or societal pressures. Reassure him that breastfeeding is a natural and essential part of nurturing your child, not a betrayal.

Ultimately, deciding whether to stay in the marriage or leave is deeply personal. If you choose to work on your marriage, make sure both of you are committed to resolving your issues together. If you decide to move on, know that you’ve done your best and that your well-being, as well as your child’s, is most important.

Remember, it’s okay to seek happiness and stability for yourself and your baby. You deserve a supportive partner who respects your choices as a mother.

We hope our readers can offer you additional insights and support.