Family supports you in everyday moments, celebrates your successes, and helps you through challenges, reminding you that you are never really alone. But some people only show their true selves when they need something. People often say you really get to know someone when you work together, go on vacation, or deal with money.
This girl shared her story publicly, asking if her actions were right.
“I recently inherited a large sum of money, including an 80-acre farm with two houses and over $750,000 cash from my grandparents.
My stepsister and I were never close. When my mom married her dad, she made it clear we weren’t family and didn’t like us. She’s a single mom with four kids who’s struggling. Our country is going through a housing and living cost crisis, and her family got evicted for not paying rent. They’re now in a small, government-paid motel room.
My husband and I already own a nice three-bedroom home and are financially stable from hard work.
When I got my inheritance, I gave money to my mom and stepdad to pay off their mortgage and fund their dream vacation. When my stepsister found out, she acted nice for a few minutes, asking about my family, then asked when she’d get her share and when they could move into the bigger house on the farm. I laughed and told her I was only helping immediate family. Then I blocked her.
Now some people are calling me selfish and spoiled. I feel she’s always treated us poorly and doesn’t deserve anything. I do feel sorry for her kids and plan to set up small trust funds they can access when they turn 18.
For those wondering, the inheritance came unexpectedly from my late father’s parents, whom I hadn’t seen much. I know what it’s like to grow up with very little.
What people had to say about this…
- “Your stepsister is only being nice (and not even all that nice — 5 minutes of niceness hardly qualifies) because you have something she wants. Do you think she would help you? Would she set aside money for YOUR kids? Don’t help her in any way. Your parents can help her now that they own their house free and clear (thanks to you). If they don’t want to let her live with them or help her out financially (because now they can, right?) that should tell you something. I recommend saving your money in case you start a family of your own. If you have extra when your stepnieces/nephews go to college, then you can consider helping them out. If you promise the money and end up needing it yourself, you’ll just get more hate. She should be saving on her own to take care of her children’s education.
- “Your stepdad is responsible for helping her if anyone in your family is. That is something he and your mother can sort out if they choose to. There is nothing wrong with helping her, but the way she expected it after ignoring you is pretty gross. A trust fund for her children is a great and kind idea. Anyone who confronts you should be reminded that they can be of help to your stepsister if they feel so strongly about it. It isn’t about being selfish. She is hardly more than a stranger to you by what seems like her own choice.
- “She said it herself, you and your mom aren’t family to her. She never tried to build a relationship with you as a stepsister, so she’s not able to cash that in for, well, cash, or a better living situation. But you are being generous with the trust funds, and if you do act on that, don’t tell your stepsister or she’ll try to get that money for herself because she thinks she’s owed it.
- “She’s not your responsibility. You helped out your stepdad, so if he wants to help his daughter now, that’s up to him.
