I Won’t Make Special Gluten-Free Food for My Stepdaughter — Her Mom Confronts Me

Family relationships can be tricky, especially when step-parents and children are involved. A woman shared her difficult situation on Reddit about her stepdaughter’s dietary needs and her role in managing them, questioning if she was handling things correctly.

Here’s the gist:

The woman’s 15-year-old stepdaughter has been living with them part-time for a year and has been challenging about food. Initially, she was vegan, so the woman adjusted by cooking meals without animal products. But then the stepdaughter switched to a holistic diet and claimed allergies to several foods.

Now, the stepdaughter avoids lactose and gluten. She demands that her food and kitchen tools be kept separate, even discarding pantry items she thinks cause stomach issues. Frustrated, the woman suggested the stepdaughter eat elsewhere or manage her own cooking and cleaning, which upset her. This led to arguments with her husband getting involved.

After suggesting she get professional help for her eating problems, we found out she didn’t actually have any allergies. Still, she stuck to her beliefs. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I started adding gluten and lactose to her meals. She ate them without any issues. When her mom visited and praised her improved health from her new diet, I calmly pointed out that she’d been eating the same food as the rest of us.

When she realized this, it caused a big argument that led to my stepdaughter and her mom leaving. My husband was upset because she didn’t want to live with us anymore. I told him if he wants his daughter to stay, he can move out. They’ve taken legal action against me, but I stand by what I did. I won’t give in to the demands of a teenager with mental health issues, and I won’t apologize or change my ways if she decides to come back.

As a nurse with long hours, I can’t afford to spend time and energy on someone’s unrealistic food beliefs. Am I wrong?

Online, most people supported me. They were upset with how my husband reacted and his failure to support me or his own child properly.

  • Your husband started yelling at you about it? Congratulations husband, you are now your daughter’s chief chef and bottle washer.

 

  • If your husband wants to back up his daughter so much, he’ll learn how to support her dietary needs. His pawning it off on you and then yelling at you while he does nothing all shows just how “supportive” he actually is. If her mom is drinking the Kool-Aid, she can send your stepdaughter batched meals that can be heated up by Little Miss Princess.

 

  • She wanted a separate, different menu. Your husband is really stretching how long incompetence can be sexy with his inability to cook. Being a good father doesn’t make him a good husband. He doesn’t seem to respect you as a partner or as a professional, unless his own credentials exceed your own in the healthcare industry, he should pull his head out of the sand and listen.

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