Trapped by suspicion, a man wonders if his wife has been unfaithful.
Here’s his story:
Last night, I think my wife cheated on me. We’ve been married for 10 years, together for 13. She went out to “buy things for the house,” which is strange since she hates doing that, and she went with a male friend I don’t know. She stayed out for several hours.
It felt odd because she spent the day getting ready like it was a date. While she was gone, I got suspicious and checked around the room. I found out she had put on her sexy underwear.
I do all the childcare, so I put the kids to bed. She came home later and wouldn’t tell me much about the man she was with. She said she needed time for herself to stay in our marriage.
She only told me his first name, which I’ve seen in her texts for months. I thought he was just a work friend because they often text about big projects after hours.
I think she’s been planning to cheat on me. For the past two months, she’s been extremely hostile without any reason. Last week, she said she doesn’t want to be married and claimed it’s not my fault, which I find hard to believe.
I do all the childcare, shopping, and housework, and I work from home. She’s the primary breadwinner. I’m emotionally available, mature, and not controlling. I don’t mind her having male friends, but this feels like an affair.
I’m devastated and don’t know how to talk to her. She’s been so angry lately that communication is a nightmare. I want a divorce, but that would break up my children’s home. If I file for divorce, would that make me a jerk?
People shared their support.
“She already told you she doesn’t want to be married. With this proof, you wouldn’t be a jerk for wanting a divorce. The marriage was already heading this way before the cheating.”
“Staying in a marriage like this doesn’t help your kids! Is this what you want them to think marriage is like? Nope.”
“Even if she didn’t cheat, you both sound unhappy and staying together hurts the kids. It’s better for you and the kids to see you fight for happiness. They shouldn’t grow up thinking they have to settle. I went through this a year ago, and the kids are happier now.”
“She is already checked out. She will probably get more hostile and start fights to justify lying and cheating.”
