Raising another man’s child can be really hard for many men. But not for today’s hero, a 37-year-old man who truly loves his stepson and has worked hard to build a strong bond with him.
This man wants to adopt his wife’s son from her previous relationship and thought his wife would be happy about it. But to his surprise, she completely rejects his heartfelt wish. The man wrote us a letter sharing all the details of his complicated situation, asking our readers for their opinions and advice.
Adam and his wife have built a nice and happy family together.
Adam, 37, decided to share his story with us because he feels lost and needs advice from others. He feels that his sincere wish to adopt his stepson has been ignored and belittled by his wife, Stella, and he believes there’s no fairness in his family on this sensitive topic.
Adam began his letter saying, “Hi, Bright Side! I need help with a problem, and I hope your readers can relate and give me some good advice on how to deal with my wife’s point of view.”
Adam gave more details about his family life. He wrote, “My wife Stella and I have been happily married for over 5 years. We both had past relationships, and we’re okay with that. Stella came into my life with her 1-year-old son from her previous relationship, and I was happy about this little boy joining us.”
Adam and his stepson, Ryan, bonded instantly.
Adam shared, “Ryan was a wonderful baby. I always wanted a child of my own, but I’m infertile due to an illness I had at 17. I’ve been in Ryan’s life since he was 1, and being his dad is a blessing for me. I did everything a loving dad would do—waking up at night, changing nappies, feeding him, and spending lots of time with him. I was happy about every milestone Ryan achieved and supported him and his mom financially from the start. We bonded instantly, and I adore him with all my heart. He is my son and my sunshine.”
Adam added that Ryan’s biological father is not involved. He wrote, “Ryan’s dad has never shown any interest in him. Stella told me she barely knew him when they had a brief relationship. When she found out she was pregnant, she told Ryan’s bio dad, but he wasn’t interested and told her to decide on her own about the baby. Then he vanished forever.”
Adam continued, “Since Ryan and I are very close and he calls me dad, I’ve always wanted to adopt him legally. I didn’t push the matter initially, as I understood Stella might need time to get used to our new family. But since everything was going well, I thought it was natural to bring it up. So, I suggested to my wife that I adopt Ryan and make it legal for our family.”
“I expected a happy reaction from her, but to my shock, she completely denied my suggestion. She treated my plans to adopt Ryan as an offense, and I couldn’t understand why.”
Adam confronted his wife about her denial and now wants a divorce.
Adam said, “I asked Stella for her reasons. At first, she didn’t want to discuss it, saying she had private reasons. But when I pressed her, she finally said she believes the decision should be up to Ryan when he’s old enough to decide on his own.”
“I think Stella’s reasoning is silly. Plus, her friend told me that she doesn’t want to make it legal because if we divorce, she doesn’t want to fight me for custody of Ryan. I’m mad and devastated at my wife’s reaction. I want a divorce because I think our life together is pointless without trust. The only thing keeping our family together is my relationship with Ryan, and I’m afraid to lose him if I split with Stella. What should I do?”
