As I approached my 40th birthday, I found myself reflecting on life and how little I felt had changed with age. At 39, I thought getting older was just a new number. However, a few weeks after turning 40, I began to feel different. I looked in the mirror one day, counting the wrinkles and noticing a few gray hairs. Panic set in, and I thought, “I need to do something about this!”

I came to a realization: I was just like everyone else. I wasn’t a big shot; I was a regular 40-year-old woman living in a small apartment. I hadn’t pursued the career path my family had hoped for, and I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders when I accepted that. Instead of feeling ashamed about my “failures,” I learned to stop blaming myself for simply being tired.

Once I acknowledged all that I had accomplished in my life—getting an education, working in management, and even renovating my home without taking loans—I felt a sense of relief. I started a new habit: at the end of each day, if I felt like I hadn’t done anything worthwhile, I would list everything I accomplished, no matter how small. Even the simple act of heating up soup made it onto the list, and it always made me feel better.

I also made a promise to myself to stop overworking. As I neared 40, I realized that pushing myself too hard was only leading to health issues. I decided to take breaks and when I did, I turned off my phone and ignored work emails. I discovered that the world didn’t fall apart when I took time off, and I felt much more refreshed and productive afterward.

For the first time in my life, I scheduled a full health check-up. Though it was an expense, I found out I was low on vitamin D, folic acid, and magnesium. My doctor provided guidance on the right supplements, and I also started incorporating regular exercise and massages into my routine.

Another important change came when I learned to say no without feeling guilty. While waiting at the gynecologist’s office, an elderly lady leaned close and asked if she could go in early. Calmly, I told her no, explaining that we would go in at our scheduled times. Standing my ground felt empowering, and instead of feeling bad for the older woman, I reassured myself that she had made her own choice.

Now that I’m 40, I’m also in no rush to dive into new relationships. I know that taking my time is better than jumping at the first opportunity. Recently, a man on a dating site expressed his desire to marry me and adopt my son after only a few messages. I chuckled when I told him my son was already 17. His response, “I wouldn’t tell,” was a glaring red flag, and I knew right then that he wasn’t the right match for me.

Though I’ve faced my share of challenges, I believe many wonderful experiences are still ahead. Turning 40 feels great, and I’m excited for what’s to come!