What Toxic Masculinity Is and Why Men and Their Loved Ones Suffer From It

Men and women are different, but not as much as people think. These differences don’t mean one is better than the other. Often, people talk about prejudice against women, but men also face discrimination. For example, saying “boys don’t cry” is part of toxic masculinity — a set of rules that stop men from living freely.

The Story:

Once, my son came home with his knee bleeding. His friend Andy was with him. I asked, “Does it hurt?” My son said, “It’s okay. It just stings a bit.” I told him to go to the bathroom so we could take care of the injury. While we were there, he whispered, “Mom, tell Andy to wait outside.” After Andy left, my son suddenly started crying so hard that I got scared. I asked, “What’s wrong? What happened?” He said, “It hurts a lot. I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t do it in front of the boys.” I hugged him and thought, “It’s hard to be a man. You have to hold in your pain, smile when you want to cry, and hide your weaknesses. It doesn’t matter if you’re 7, 12, or 38, because men aren’t supposed to cry.

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