Emma, a 29-year-old mother, has always been strong for her family, balancing work, home, and relationships easily. But things changed six months ago when she and her husband, Matt, welcomed twin boys. While they were happy, it also brought challenges that started to affect their marriage.
Emma shared her story.
Emma began her letter feeling sad: “Hi. I never thought I’d share something like this, but I feel lost and alone. My husband, Matt, and I have been together for eight years and married for five. We always had a strong, loving relationship. But since our twins were born, everything has changed so much that I barely recognize us.”
“Matt and I always wanted kids, and when we found out we were having twins, we were so happy. But no one really tells you how hard it is to raise two babies at once. The sleepless nights, the constant feedings, the endless diapers—it’s all so overwhelming. I love our boys so much, but I feel like I’m sinking under all the pressure.”
She continued, “Since the twins were born, my whole life has been focused on them. I’m always tired, getting just a few hours of sleep each night. Matt helps, but he has to work long hours, so most of the childcare is on me. I know I’ve been distant, and I feel bad about it, but I’m too exhausted to do anything else. I haven’t had a moment to myself in months, and our relationship has suffered.
“Last night, Matt told me he’s thinking about leaving. He said he feels ignored, like I don’t care about him anymore. He said he misses the way things used to be, just the two of us, and now he feels like he’s not important to me. Hearing him say that broke my heart because the truth is, I miss us too. But I don’t know how to be a good mom and a good wife when I’m barely managing to get through the day.”
Emma added, “I tried to tell Matt this is just a phase, that the boys won’t always need this much attention, and that we’ll find our way back to each other. But he looked so sad, like he had already made up his mind. I don’t want to lose him, but I don’t know how to fix this. How do I show him I still love him when I’m too tired to even think?”
“Now, I’m sitting here, looking at my sleeping babies, wondering how I can choose between my husband and my children. I don’t want to lose my marriage, but I don’t want to fail as a mother either. What should I do?”
