My stepson is angry after I refused to watch his kids — I’m not a free babysitter

Stepparent and stepchild relationships can be difficult, and sometimes, a bond just doesn’t form. A woman shared on Reddit that even after years of trying, she couldn’t connect with her stepson. This led her to decide not to take on a grandparent role for his kids, showing how complicated blended families can be.

The stepmom never really bonded with her stepson.
It’s a bit complicated. I’m a stepmom to 5 great kids. I became their stepmom when the oldest was just 9, and over time, I adopted all of them—except one, Nick. From the start, Nick made it clear he didn’t want me to be his mother, and I respected that. But when Nick turned 18, he made it obvious he didn’t care about me at all.

I wasn’t invited to his wedding or any holidays he hosted. The final blow was when he said he would only come to Christmas at my house if I wasn’t there. Since then, we’ve barely spoken. Nick also drifted away from his siblings. Now, he has 2 daughters, and suddenly, he called me. We started talking, which surprised me.

After some time, he complained about not getting help with his kids and asked me to watch them on Sundays and act as a grandparent. I bluntly told him that he’s the reason he doesn’t have a village to help him, as he burned those bridges himself. He didn’t like that, called me a jerk, and hung up. My husband isn’t sure how to feel but left the decision to me since I’d be the one mainly taking care of the kids because he travels for work a lot.

The poster provided some extra details in the comments

“In his own words, Nick has made it clear that I’m not and never will be his mother. He’s the middle child, and while he never gives examples, he’s always said I’m just ‘too much’ for him. My relationships with the other four kids are great. I believe Nick has realized that he’s isolated himself from the rest of the family.”

“I don’t want to get attached. He might suddenly cut them (the grandkids) off from me. That’s not something I want to go through, and I feel it will happen. Unless our relationship improves, which will take much work, I should stay away for now.”