Sarah never thought she’d be in this situation and now needs some advice. She feels like the bad guy in her own home and isn’t sure if she’s doing the right thing. She reached out for feedback to see if she’s handling things well. Here’s her story:
Sarah set some house rules for her stepdaughter to create a good atmosphere at home.
Sarah is married to a great man named Mark, who has a 16-year-old daughter, Emma, from his previous marriage. Emma has been living with them full-time for six months. At first, Sarah was excited to get closer to Emma, but things didn’t go as planned. Emma is smart and strong-willed, and they’ve had disagreements over house rules.
Sarah explained, “From the beginning, I set some rules to keep things peaceful.
Emma was used to a more relaxed environment at her mom’s house and resisted Sarah’s rules right away. At first, it was little things like leaving dirty dishes or not doing her chores. Sarah tried talking to her nicely, but Emma barely listened.
The real problems started with the curfew. Emma often stayed up past midnight on school nights, texting and browsing social media. This hurt her mood and grades. When Sarah enforced a 10 p.m. bedtime, Emma argued that her friends stayed up later and it wasn’t fair.
Emma blew up.
Then there was the issue with her phone. Emma was always on it, even at the dinner table, despite many reminders to put it away. One night, Sarah firmly told her to put her phone down during dinner. Emma exploded, yelling, “You’re not my mom! You can’t tell me what to do!”
This was Sarah’s breaking point. She felt disrespected. She spoke to Mark, but he was conflicted. He didn’t like seeing Emma upset but agreed rules were important. However, he often sided with Emma, making it hard for Sarah to enforce the rules.
One night, after another argument about chores and curfew, Sarah sat down with Emma. She calmly but firmly told her the rules weren’t up for debate. If Emma couldn’t follow them, they’d have to rethink her living there. Emma angrily said, “Fine, maybe I should just go back to Mom’s!”
Sarah didn’t want it to get this far, but she also couldn’t live in a home without respect for the rules. She suggested Emma spend more time at her mom’s until they could figure things out.
Emma made a sudden decision.
Emma packed a bag and left for her mom’s that night. They tried to reach her through her mother, but Emma refused to talk to Sarah and said she wasn’t coming back.
Emma’s mom was also upset, saying they needed a new arrangement because Sarah couldn’t provide for Emma’s well-being. Naturally, Mark was stressed, torn between his wife and daughter.
Mark was heartbroken and accused Sarah of being too strict. She felt bad but also relieved because the constant tension was too much.
Now, Sarah is wondering if she did the right thing. She wants a good relationship with Emma but also believes in structure and respect at home. Has anyone gone through something similar? How do you balance setting rules while staying close to stepchildren?
Sarah would appreciate any advice or tips on handling this family situation. Your thoughts on how to enforce rules while keeping a positive relationship with stepchildren would be really helpful.
