A 35-year-old woman wrote us a desperate letter. She shared her struggles after finding out her husband was mean to her. He kept saying she smelled bad, which hurt her a lot. But when she found out why he did it, she was furious. We really feel for her.
The woman’s marriage to her husband has always been great.
Lilly, a woman who wrote to us, sounded very upset about a problem in her otherwise happy marriage. She said she and her husband, George, have been happily married for over ten years. In all this time, George was never disrespectful.
Lilly shared, “Our marriage has always been full of deep emotions, passion, respect, and trust. I thought my relationship with George was perfect. He has always been a loving and caring husband.”
But there was one problem: the tension between Lilly and her mother-in-law (MIL). Lilly wrote, “I’ve always had a tough relationship with my MIL because I don’t like her personality. She is very bossy and thinks her opinion is the only one that matters. She loves to interfere in other people’s private lives.”
Lilly tried to get along with her MIL and always behaved politely. It wasn’t too hard because they didn’t see each other often. Lilly and George live in a different country, so her MIL couldn’t meddle in their lives much. Lilly accepted that her MIL would never be like a second mother to her.
About a year ago, her husband’s behavior changed. Lilly explained, “George started making rude comments about my body odor. There was no reason for it—no changes in my health or lifestyle. Everything was normal until one day, he started doing it. Every day, he would tell me that I smell bad.”
Lilly had always been careful about her hygiene. When they first met, she showered daily, used deodorant every morning, and brushed her teeth 3 times a day. None of that changed, but George kept making nasty comments.
Lilly admitted, “I got so paranoid about having body odor that I started showering 3 times a day. I used a strong deodorant every hour—I even set reminders on my phone. I also used perfume and brushed my teeth 5 times a day, doing it every time I ate or drank anything besides water.”
Being told you smell bad is never nice. When a loved one says it every day, it’s even worse. This is what Lilly went through, and it made her very upset.
Lilly wrote, “I felt like I was going crazy. I knew I didn’t smell bad before, and I didn’t think I smelled bad now. But my husband kept saying I did. I always checked my armpits to make sure. I even went to a doctor, who said I was fine.”
It got so bad that I started asking my friends and family if I smelled bad. They all said I didn’t. One even said I smelled very clean, like I had just come from a Lush store.
One day, Lilly found out why her husband kept saying she smelled bad.
One morning, Lilly went for a walk while George stayed home. She said, “I told George I’d be gone for about three hours. I planned to visit my sister. But after a while, I felt sick and decided to go back home. I came back about 30 minutes later. George didn’t expect me to come back so soon.”
Lilly explained, “Because I felt unwell, I entered the house quietly. I had a bad headache, and every sound made it worse. George didn’t hear me come in since he was on a video call with his mother.” George and his mom were speaking loudly, and it sounded like they were arguing. The noise annoyed her, and she wanted to ask him to use headphones. Then, she realized they were talking about her.
Lilly wrote, “George was telling his mom that he was tired of this ‘smelly game.’ He sounded stressed, saying that because of his comments about my body odor, we had stopped being intimate, and I wouldn’t even kiss him anymore. His mom told him to be patient if he wanted to keep me around. She said George’s dad had done the same thing to her. She explained it was a way to make sure a woman never leaves. According to her, a woman would stay with one man forever because ‘she’ll feel too low to cheat, be devoted only to you, and always be fresh and clean.’”
Lilly’s MIL was advising her son to use the same mean tactic that George’s dad had used on her! Lilly was disgusted and furious that George would do this to her. She concluded, “George doesn’t know yet that I know everything. I want a divorce, but I want revenge before I end things with him. Some people might not think George’s actions are a big reason for divorce, but I can’t imagine spending my life with someone who uses such ‘smelly methods’ on a woman who loves him with all her heart.”
