When the man in today’s story met his girlfriend, he loved her passion for veganism and animal rights. Her strong commitment to a cruelty-free life was admirable and inspiring. But now, this dedication has caused a big, sad problem.

He shared his story online:
I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 7 months. She’s amazing and we’re a great match in many ways. She’s a strong vegan, and she told me early on that she wanted her partner to have similar cruelty-free values. Since I was already a pescatarian, it was easy for me to switch to a fully plant-based diet. My girlfriend was proud of me for going cruelty-free, and everything was great. We became known as “the vegan couple” on our college campus.

Then there’s my cat, Mittens. I’ve had her for three years and I love her. She’s very sweet and cuddly. But my girlfriend was always a bit uneasy around her, saying she wasn’t used to cats. We mostly hung out at her place, so Mittens didn’t come up in conversation much.

Recently, my girlfriend and I have been spending a lot of time together, and we’ve started talking about moving in together. We seriously considered buying a new apartment or one of us moving into the other’s place.

But after all our planning and talking, my girlfriend sat me down and shocked me. She said she couldn’t see a future with me unless I was willing to give away Mittens. She believes owning a cat goes against vegan principles because cats hunt mice and eat meat, and owning a pet is wrong for vegans.

I was shocked. I told her I wouldn’t give up Mittens, and Mittens had to eat meat, so I bought the best cat food to reduce harm. Many vegans have cats and think this way. My girlfriend got mad and said, “How much meat does your cat eat? How many animals died for that food? Would you be okay if it was human flesh?”

I’m not going to get rid of my cat. But it hurts to think our great relationship might end because of this difference in beliefs. I don’t really understand my girlfriend’s view because many vegans have cats. Yes, cat ownership can be controversial among vegans, and maybe I wouldn’t have gotten a cat if I was vegan then, but I have Mittens now, and she needs to eat. (I looked into vegan cat food, but Mittens has digestive problems and my vet advised against it.)

I’ve talked to my vegan and vegetarian friends, and they think my girlfriend is being unreasonable. Some even think she just wants an excuse to break up. They don’t get why I haven’t ended it yet, but I care about my girlfriend a lot. I don’t want this issue to end our great relationship. I want to find a solution.