When someone beats cancer, it’s a big deal and everyone is happy. But in this story, the other sibling’s hard work seemed to be ignored. The big difference in gifts made everyone think about fairness and love in their family.
Here’s what happened:
Last year, my sister was diagnosed with cancer. It was very hard for our family, especially for her. I love my sister and tried to support her as much as I could. I also helped my parents a lot by doing all the chores, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, and taking care of my younger siblings.
Luckily, my sister is now doing very well and finished her treatment recently. We are all very thankful. Our birthdays are two weeks apart. Two weeks ago, my parents gave my sister a new car to celebrate her recovery. I understand she deserves it, but I was surprised because I thought we didn’t have money. My dad refused to help me get a used car last year, saying we didn’t have the money.
I didn’t ask him to pay for all of it; I just wanted help with the rest, but he kept saying there was no money. Then, for my birthday, my parents gave me a book I mentioned once and a $25 take-out gift card. I thanked them, but they saw I wasn’t very happy and asked me what was wrong.
I told them that while I appreciated the gifts, I thought that they were finally going to help me with the remaining $800 for buying the used car seeing that they could now afford a new car for my sister. But that’s when they accused me of being jealous of my sister who had just gone through something very traumatic and that I was trying to make everything about me and why couldn’t just be happy for her. They said that at the end of the day, I had a job and could just continue saving.
People stood on OP’s side.
- “It’s not jealousy to feel undervalued. I understand your sister has been through hell, but siblings of sick kids always seem to get lost in the panic. It’s entirely up to you, but if it were possible, I’d really talk to your parents about how this made you feel. You stepped up and took care of the household while never giving up on your sister.
I think they’re probably scared, and I get that the diagnosis changed everyone’s lives, but if they continue to paint this picture of you in their heads that you’re resentful and jealous, that can so negatively impact your relationship with them in the future.
- “Yes, your sister went through a lot, but so did you. I understand that while she was going through treatment she may have gotten more gifts from friends, family, etc. But when giving gifts to you and your sister for birthdays, Christmas, etc., their values should be equal.
- “Your parents are harming all of their children with the special treatment they are giving one of the kids. That kid has now learned that she just needs to be sick, and she will get all of the love, attention, and gifts.
