The excitement of planning a wedding can be overshadowed when expectations clash, especially when it comes to something as personal as the wedding dress.

One woman, 27 years old, shared her story about a recent family dinner that turned sour. She and her fiancé, Jacob, have been together for six years and engaged for almost one year. She always dreamed of wearing her mother’s wedding dress, which has been passed down through generations.

During a dinner hosted by her fiancé’s family, things took an unexpected turn. Her sister-in-law (SIL) stood up and made a toast, then returned with a large plastic bag. Inside was her own wedding dress, which she offered as a gift for the upcoming wedding. Everyone seemed excited, but the woman felt confused and disappointed.

When she hesitated and explained she wanted to wear her mother’s dress instead, her SIL became upset and started crying. The rest of her fiancé’s family sided with the SIL, comforting her and criticizing the woman for not accepting the gift graciously.

Feeling overwhelmed, the woman ran outside in tears. Her fiancé didn’t immediately follow her and later scolded her in the car, accusing her of making a scene and embarrassing him in front of his family. He argued that his SIL was trying to be kind and that her dress was more modern compared to her mother’s dress, which he disparagingly called an “old rag.”

The woman felt trapped and manipulated by her fiancé’s family, believing they had planned to pressure her into accepting the SIL’s dress. Despite her fiancé’s anger, she held firm to her desire to wear her mother’s dress, which held deep sentimental value.

She now wonders if she should have handled the situation differently, perhaps accepting the dress publicly and then privately discussing her preference with her SIL. But she remains steadfast in her decision to honor her promise to her mother, even amidst the conflict with her fiancé’s family.

People stood on her side.

  • “Ma’am, you need to leave that whole family behind, including your fiancé. You just had a peak into your future if you carry on with this relationship.

 

  • “Do NOT waste your mama’s wedding dress on this man. He doesn’t deserve it.”

 

  • “Any person who would speak to their partner with such derision, blatantly disrespect their family traditions and CONSPIRE with their family to control you and the choices you make DOES NOT SEE YOU AS A HUMAN BEING, but merely as a prop or accessory to use as they wish and servant to bend to their will.
    This means when you do not 100% anticipate and fully comply with their world view and expectations of you, you will be emotionally and verbally mistreated.”

 

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