Family relationships can be complicated, each bringing its own challenges. For some, welcoming a new family member brings joy and celebration. However, recurring unplanned pregnancies can strain even the strongest family ties.
Here’s what happened: My younger sister had her first child at 16 and her second at 18. I became their guardian and eventually adopted them.
I never planned on having kids, but now I have three – one biological child who was an unexpected blessing. I love her dearly, along with her two brothers and my wife. It’s important to note that I don’t judge who my sister dates. I’m simply left cleaning up after her.
Now she’s 25 and pregnant again. Her “boyfriend” (47) turned out to be married and left when she told him. Our parents have mostly given up on her, so she won’t get any help from them. She came to me in tears about her situation.
I offered to support her financially if she decided to end the pregnancy and get permanent birth control. She called me a monster for suggesting abortion or that she can’t have a family. Maybe I am a monster. As she left, she asked for gas money. I told her she knew what she had to do to get real help from me. She thought I meant more than just $20 for gas. I explained if that’s not real help to her, then maybe she doesn’t need it. I closed the door on her. She’s been trying to change my mind for a week, but I’ve made my decision. I love her, but I won’t be raising another child for her.
People stood on his side.
- “As if abortion is worse than abandonment. You’re a good sibling for holding boundaries. You can’t enable her any longer. I hope she grows up, but sometimes you can’t fix stupidity.
- “You are not a monster. Your sister is one, though. Giving births then abandoning her children is definitely one form of monstrosity.”
- “You’ve already stepped up twice to raise kids that weren’t your responsibility. She changed nothing and came to you expecting the same result. But she isn’t a teenager anymore, she’s 25, doing a married guy 20+ years older than her, and is surprised that he noped out.
Why does she need gas money? Does she not work? She certainly isn’t supporting her kids.
You aren’t telling her she HAS to ‘get spayed’ or have an abortion, but that you will not be adopting this child unless she can show she has changed her ways. She doesn’t want to, that’s on her, as is figuring out what to do with the current child.”
