This is the story of a husband who found himself caught between love and betrayal. His wife crossed a line, encouraged by her best friend, which shattered their marriage. Now, he’s struggling with what to do next: whether to support her happiness or hold onto his own pain.
He shared his experience:
A few years ago, I discovered my wife had an affair. I noticed a sudden increase in her phone usage and found out it was with her ex, despite her denials. I eventually checked her phone and found text messages to her best friend where she described everything and even boasted about it. Her friend supported her and sometimes even encouraged her to continue the affair.
We’ve patched things up since then, and our relationship is okay now. But I still have a lot of anger towards her friend. Partly because she encouraged my wife to do something wrong instead of advising her to do the right thing. And partly because their messages caused me so much pain and suffering. Even now, just seeing her friend or hearing her name brings back memories of the affair.
Her friend is getting married soon, and my wife is the maid of honor. I’ve been feeling very anxious about the idea of attending the wedding. Eventually, I decided I needed to protect myself. I know I would be miserable the whole time. It feels awful to think about celebrating the marriage of someone who disrespected our marriage so deeply.
When I told my wife I wasn’t going to the wedding, she got upset. She said she was hurt, but I sensed more anger from her. After that, she closed off and hasn’t really talked to me. I tried to explain my feelings and reasons, but she didn’t seem to take it seriously.
I don’t think I’m in the wrong here. I didn’t choose to feel this way; her actions put me in this position. Plus, she’s the one who involved her friend in the affair in the first place. If she hadn’t done that, none of this would be an issue. I didn’t tell her she couldn’t or shouldn’t go to the wedding—I even encouraged her to go and offered to drive her. Am I being unreasonable?
People stood on his side.
- “You’re holding so much resentment for the friend when it’s your wife’s fault. She ruined your relationship, not her friend.”
- “Honestly the wife ruined the marriage but the friend encouraging it makes her suck as well. I would be petty as possible and go to the wedding. I would toast the new couple and wish the groom luck because his new bride believes in cheating on your spouse. Then I would tell my wife I am done with her and leave.
- “This is a CLASSIC case of ‘blaming the other women’ since you so badly want to be with your wife but you need to be mad at someone you choose her friend. Dude I’m going to hold your hand when I say this, your wife is the problem, not the friend. Your wife was going to cheat on you with her best friend’s encouragement or not because she’s a cheater and a liar.
