My husband passed away suddenly when our daughter was 6. A year later, I discovered his records from when he was in a psychiatric hospital for depression.

In the notes, I found a disturbing detail: the therapist mentioned that my husband never referred to our daughter by name, but only as “the child.” The notes also revealed something even more shocking—my husband had confessed to the therapist that he wouldn’t mind if I divorced him and took full custody.

My heart pounded as I read those words. What else had he been hiding? Why did he feel this way? The questions haunted me.

It’s been 10 years since I discovered those notes. I’ve never discussed this with my daughter, nor do I intend to. Some secrets are too heavy to share, and I want her to remember her father in the best light possible. But sometimes, late at night, I wonder if she ever sensed the distance in his love, and what it might mean for her to know the truth.