Having a best friend can be more special than having a sibling. Friends should be there for both the best and worst times in our lives. Our story today is about a woman whose best friends didn’t show her much respect or attention. None of them invited her to share their special moments. But when she got engaged, she saw the true colors of those who ignored her but now expect her respect in return.
Anna has 5 best friends, and their relationships used to be amazing.
Anna, our 33-year-old reader, wanted us to share her story and get advice from others about her tricky relationship with her friends and her final decision.
She began her letter, saying, “Hi! I want to know people’s opinions on my bizarre and somewhat frustrating situation. I am 33, and I have 5 best friends, whom I met over the years. They’re all a bit older than me, but not by much. 3 of them are male and 2 are female. We’ve always had a warm and close relationship, meeting often as a big group.”
“I’ve always considered them my best friends, not just ordinary friends. We’ve been through a lot together, and they could always count on me for support. I babysat their kids and they helped me financially when I was struggling. I’m in a better place now, but something from the past is causing problems in our relationship.
None of Anna’s friends wanted to share their special moments with her.
Anna wrote, “All of my friends are already married, and some have kids I used to babysit. Despite our close friendship, I was never invited to any of their weddings.”
“To be fair, I understand them. I was unemployed during their weddings and couldn’t give them nice presents. I even borrowed money from some friends but always repaid them. So, I couldn’t offer much other than taking up space for someone who could give them better gifts. I don’t hold any grudges about not being invited. Personally, I wouldn’t have done the same to them, but I respect their choices.”
“We still get along well, and I’ve never mentioned that I felt hurt. I talk to some of them daily and others a few times a week. We have a group chat where we share photos, including their wedding pictures.”
Now, Anna is engaged and her life is getting better in all aspects.
Anna shared, “After a tough period, I finally got a good job. I’ve been saving to buy my own apartment. I also met the man of my dreams on a business trip, and we fell in love instantly.”
“Five months after we started dating, Josh, my now fiancé, proposed and I said yes immediately. I’m really happy, but my best friends started to spoil my life with nasty comments and behavior. I can’t believe these important people in my life are causing me stress instead of being happy for me. The problem is my upcoming wedding.”
Anna’s friends want the respectful attitude they didn’t offer her before.
Anna wrote, “They created a separate WhatsApp group to angrily ask why I didn’t even tell them I am engaged. In my turn, I asked them why I would? They all were surprised, but I explained that I didn’t think we were that close. They didn’t tell me about their engagements and weddings; I only found out after their parties and ceremonies. So, I asked them why they expected me to do differently. Suddenly, our group video call ended.”
“One of my friends later came to me privately. He told me he doesn’t know why he didn’t invite me because we are such close friends and he has always regretted it. He even said that I am the first person he put down for their 5-year-anniversary celebration.”
“I feel that this whole situation is strange, but I don’t really care about it. I was hurt at the time, but I let go of feeling entitled to be part of my friends’ lives. I congratulated each of them and wished them the best. I never asked why I wasn’t invited. Still, I don’t want any of them at my wedding. I have invited some of our other mutual friends, but I don’t want my best friends there. Am I wrong here?”
