Have you ever secretly tested your relationship, like waiting for your partner to text first, to see how things are going? Relationship experts warn that these hidden tests can harm your relationship. One Reddit user experienced this firsthand—check out his story in our article.

The user shared his story online.

When I was 16, my girlfriend broke up with me. I was really upset and begged her to take me back. I thought I was deeply in love and couldn’t imagine life without her. Looking back, I realize I acted foolishly.

Now, at 25, I promised myself I wouldn’t repeat that mistake. I’ve had a few relationships and some casual flings. When they end, I feel sad, but I don’t let it weaken me.

I was with my girlfriend for a year and a half. We met at a work event, clicked right away, and decided to be exclusive.

Recently, we talked about moving in together to save money in our expensive city. Her apartment is bigger, but I own mine, so we were trying to figure things out.

Last weekend, unexpectedly, she said we were moving too quickly and wanted to break up because she wasn’t sure if I was fully committed. I agreed. Then she became very upset—it turned out she was testing me to see if I would fight for our relationship.

I don’t like playing games, so I told her I would pack her things for her to pick up. She accused me of being a heartless person who used her. That wasn’t true. I believed we had a future together, even though I wasn’t ready to propose. We had met each other’s families and spent last Christmas together. My family really liked her, and I loved her.

My parents called to ask what happened. They think I’m being stubborn. My sister thinks I’m wrong for not forgiving my ex.

I just remember crying myself to sleep over a girl and promising never to let it happen again.