Today’s woman was caught off guard when her husband’s family suggested she should embrace the role of a “traditional” wife. It was a shock for her, making her confront deep-rooted expectations and cultural norms she hadn’t fully considered before.

Here’s what happened:
My husband comes from a family where his mother stays at home, and his father is the sole breadwinner. In contrast, my own mother taught me never to rely financially on a man.

My husband has worked hard to move away from his family’s values. He helps out at home, is a committed father, and supports me as an equal partner. However, he still gives a lot of weight to his family’s opinions. I understand wanting to please your parents, but sometimes it becomes too much.

Here’s a simplified version of the text:

Right now, my in-laws are staying with us for two weeks. Normally, I handle breakfast, we eat lunch at work or school, and my husband cooks dinner. Our cleaner is on vacation, so we’re all pitching in with the cleaning. This routine has always worked well for us.

However, my in-laws strongly disapprove of my “modern” lifestyle. They don’t like that I work, that I don’t define myself solely as a wife and mother, and that my husband shares household chores. We had a clear talk early on where I set boundaries, insisting they respect how I live in my own home. When I visit their home, I follow their expectations and act as they wish I would.

Yesterday, after a tiring day at work, I returned home hungry. I usually get home around 6:15 or 6:30 PM, and we eat dinner at 7 PM. After saying hello to everyone, I quickly showered. When I came downstairs, I saw that nothing had been prepared for dinner.

I asked my husband about it, but he avoided looking at me. Instead, his mother replied, saying he hadn’t cooked because I needed to fulfill my duties as a wife and cook for the family. My husband still avoided eye contact.

Feeling frustrated, I ordered takeout for myself and our children, and we started eating. Eventually, my husband and his parents joined us after serving themselves.

Throughout the meal, my mother-in-law continued criticizing me, calling me a failure. I asked my husband if he had anything to say. He sided with his mother, suggesting it wouldn’t hurt if I acted “more like a proper woman” and took better care of our home and children. He added that traditions exist for a reason and it was insulting for me to think I was above the way he was raised.

At that point, I might have crossed a line. I told him that tradition couldn’t support a man earning 35k to care for a family of five, and he couldn’t afford to be so sexist. He looked hurt, tears welling up, and left the table.

I regret saying this in front of our children, but dealing with his parents’ criticism and cleaning up his mess was too much for me.