A 39-year-old man wrote to us seeking advice about his tough family situation. He felt desperate. His wife was in a coma, so he read her diary, hoping for a connection. But what he discovered about her shocked and devastated him.
It all started with a bad accident in the family.
A desperate 39-year-old man wrote to us sharing his deeply sad family story. He asked us not to judge him and hoped for advice from us and our readers about his tricky family situation.
He began his letter saying, “I hope I’ve reached out to the right place for some advice. I can’t talk to anyone about this, and I doubt I can share my story with my closest family members.”
He continued, explaining that his dear wife had a serious accident some time ago, putting her in an eight-day coma. He said, “When my spouse slipped into the coma, nobody knew how long it would last. I thought it might be months, or even years, before she woke up, if she ever did. It felt like I’d already lost her.”
He described his feelings at that time, saying, “I was utterly shattered, drowning in grief, and the uncertainty was agonizing. Each day without any positive news just pushed me deeper into despair.”
He also mentioned that their relationship had always been almost perfect. He said, “We’ve been married for 15 years. We’ve traveled the world together. She’s truly my best friend, and I’m hers. I couldn’t imagine life if the doctors told me she’d be brain-dead or wouldn’t wake up.”
The man was really upset about everything happening. One night, he sat in their bedroom feeling terrible.
He wrote, “I was so drained, emotionally and physically. Another day went by with no good news. I decided to lie on her side of the bed because her smell on the pillows comforted me.”
He remembered that his wife used lotion before bed, so he opened the drawer to find it and caught sight of her diary.
He explained, “I’d never touched her things before, and I knew about the diary, but I’d never read it. That night, I just needed something of hers; I was hurting so much. I could’ve looked at our old messages or something, but I wasn’t thinking straight. It’s not a good excuse, but that’s how it was.”
He started reading her diary. He found out she wrote in it every few days or months, starting about four years ago. As he read, he felt increasingly uneasy about what she’d written.
The man revealed another side of his wife’s personality.
The man wrote, “Right from the beginning, I was scared because most of the diary entries were angry ones. They were about female friends or people who followed me on social media. My wife wrote long paragraphs saying they were ugly, untalented, and described all their bad qualities.”
“She’d get really mad if a woman followed me on social media or if we met a female friend in person. My wife wrote lots about each of these women, wishing bad things for them.”
The man said his wife was very angry that he “got all the attention” and didn’t delete his female followers online. She’d get furious if a woman followed him but didn’t follow her back because “he’s my husband, she should respect my feelings and show she has no interest in him.”
He found out from her diary that she thought all the women around him were disrespecting their marriage, even innocent actions upset her.
He pointed out that his wife’s feelings were pointless because “None of the women she was mad at ever sent me inappropriate messages or acted anything but friendly. They were just old friends or classmates.”
But the most shocking thing was yet to come. He said, “Then I read notes about how she messaged these women from secret accounts. She accused them of disrespecting our relationship. She pretended to be someone from our hometown and said mean things to them, making them delete me without telling me why.”
“This went on for years, and I had no idea. Any new person who followed me and not her became a problem, and she made sure they knew it in a sneaky way that didn’t make her look bad but still pushed them away from me.”
The man doesn’t know what to do with all information that he discovered.
We’re really thankful to the reader who shared such a personal story with us. We’d suggest the man has a serious talk with his wife.
He mentioned in his letter that she’s awake from the coma and he’s helping her recover. When things get better in their family and his wife’s back to normal, he shouldn’t just ignore what happened.
He needs to be honest with her and tell her he saw and read her diary, and he knows about her jealousy issues. Maybe they’ll need counseling together.
Anything she does secretly from him is a problem that needs fixing. They have to rebuild trust by openly talking about their problems and working on solutions together.