When someone loves a married person, they have to decide whether to keep the relationship and hurt a family, or to leave and avoid trouble. Our story is about a woman who dated a married man. She thought their love would grow strong, even though it hurt his marriage. But she faced some bad consequences and now wishes she hadn’t done it.
The woman was sure she was doing everything right.
A 38-year-old woman poured her heart out in a letter to our editors. She confessed she’s in a tough spot and feels like her life has turned upside down. She met her partner, who’s 54, six years ago at a work event. He was married with two kids, 10 and 15 years old at the time, while she was single.
They started as friends, but things turned romantic. He claimed he was miserable in his marriage and promised to leave his wife eventually. She believed him and fell deeply in love. After two years, their affair was discovered, causing a lot of stress.
Once it was out in the open, they moved in together and planned to start their own family. His wife was devastated but chose not to tell their kids about the affair. They kept their relationship private for a year to respect his family.
After a year, he introduced her to his children. It was hard for them to see their dad with someone new, but they eventually got along. They bought a house and were preparing to get married. Everything seemed perfect, or so she thought.
The man’s ex-wife was suffering a lot and her pain was immense.
The woman said, “My fiancé’s ex-wife had a really hard time dealing with her husband cheating and leaving her. She was a stay-at-home mom with a part-time job. We knew she had serious health problems and gained a lot of weight. She was very sad and kept to herself.”
The ex-wife was really upset, and it seemed like it would take her a long time to feel better. The woman said, “After they broke up, she called my fiancé a lot, crying and begging for another chance to fix their family. My fiancé felt guilty, but he only talked to her about the divorce and their kids. He told her he chose me, that he loved me, and he regretted hurting her and the kids, but he had to move forward.”
Then, one day, the ex-wife stopped calling and sending long messages. The woman said, “She asked my fiancé to use a co-parenting app instead. He didn’t hear from her directly anymore. His oldest son could drive and didn’t need his mom’s help anymore. It was a relief for me. Then, my fiancé’s oldest son told us his mom was seeing a therapist, doing yoga, and got a full-time job she liked. She seemed happier.”
But then something changed. The woman wrote, “My fiancé’s youngest son started talking about ‘Uncle P’ in conversations. ‘Uncle P’ was my fiancé’s best friend who stopped talking to him after our affair came out. They hadn’t spoken since. It turned out ‘Uncle P’ and my fiancé’s ex-wife were dating. When we found out, I also found out I was pregnant. After that, my fiancé seemed upset and started acting differently. He came home late, was always on his phone, and didn’t act like himself.”
Things took a very painful turn for the woman in the end.
The woman said, “Two months ago, my partner called me from the police station, asking for a ride. He had gone to his ex-wife’s house late at night and got into a fight with his old friend. He even accused his ex-wife of cheating with his former best friend.
My partner had a breakdown. He’s usually calm, but he seemed like a different person. He was obsessed with his ex-wife, checking her social media and asking his kids and family about her.”
She said her partner is seeing a therapist now. They have a son together, and she hoped things would improve after the baby was born. But their relationship is still rocky.
She said, “I feel like he’s not really here with me anymore, and I’m thinking about leaving. I still love him and we have a baby, so I want us to be a family. But things have been tough, and we’ve gone too far.”
