A 37-year-old woman wrote to us asking for help. She noticed her husband behaving very badly and can’t keep her feelings inside. Things got worse after she told him she was pregnant. Let’s learn more about her story and try to give her some good advice.
Helen noticed that something was very wrong, but it was too late.
Helen, 37, wrote us a very emotional letter. She feels at a crossroads in her life. She started by saying, “My husband Jason doesn’t respect my boundaries with a coworker. He works mainly with women and treats one of them differently or better than the others. I need to vent and get some advice.”
Helen added, “I sometimes feel crazy for asking Jason to change how he acts with her. They’re around the same age and both married. They’ve worked together for years, but I only noticed a problem about a year ago. I got pregnant 7 months ago, and Jason didn’t want children.”
She continued, “This led to hurtful and horrible things from my husband. He told me he fell out of love with me and hasn’t been happy in our relationship for a while. He admitted he’s been lying about being happy with me.
During my pregnancy, I felt very lonely and thought about divorce many times because of how he treated me. He put his colleague on a pedestal, liking everything she posted or that was posted about her from their job.
Jason stopped reacting to anything I posted. His colleague added me on social media, and before I found out I was pregnant, I tried to be comfortable with their friendship and be friends with her. I discovered some nasty things by investigating and being present during certain conversations.”
Helen made a lot of revelations about her husband’s emotional bond with his colleague.
Helen continues her story, saying, “I found out he helped her pick a dress for a wedding. She even video messaged him from the wedding, calling it her dream wedding. When I ask his opinion on my clothes, he either says nothing or makes a negative comment.”
Helen revealed, “Jason bought her two Apple Watch bands designed specifically for her. He paid with his personal credit card and had them shipped to his job so I wouldn’t find out. I discovered they went to a convention together, and he got her mom’s phone number and now talks to her mom too!”
“He’s had her on a social app for months. When I asked if he wanted to share locations with me, he said no. Then I found out, from a notification on his phone, that he shares his location with her. He didn’t add me to the app until three weeks later, after I begged him.”
Helen wrote, “His colleague recently deleted and blocked me on social media. When I asked Jason about it, he said it was because I once told him I didn’t want her at the hospital after I gave birth.”
Helen can’t stay silent anymore about her husband’s relationship with his colleague. She said, “My husband added her mother on social media, and her mother added his sister on Facebook. This is weird, especially since he says they’ve only met a few times. He also reacts to her mother’s posts daily, which are often about her.”
Helen added, “They call and text each other every day, sometimes about work, sometimes not. Jason has her name saved as just one letter, ‘K,’ saying it’s a special joke between them.
When I tell him I’m uncomfortable with their relationship, he tells me to get over it and move past it. He swears nothing is happening, but I can’t shake the feeling that something might be. Do you think I’m overreacting? What would you do in this situation?”
