A young mom asked for advice on Reddit. She wondered if she was wrong for refusing to help her teenage daughter raise her baby.
A mother shared her dilemma.
My daughter Rose is 19 and has always been bright. She got a scholarship to a good local college and has been living with me, doing well in her studies.
She started dating a new guy a few months ago, who I don’t trust. He often disappoints her, but he tries to make up for it with big promises. Despite my warnings, they’re still together, and now she’s pregnant. I suggested paying for an abortion and taking time off work to support her through it.
But she refused. She wants to marry her boyfriend and start a family with him. He wants to move into my house, and she plans to quit college while he works as a bartender. I couldn’t help but laugh at this idea, which made her angry.
She said if her boyfriend can’t move in, I have to help with the baby more. She’s always been sensible, so I’m surprised by all this. I told her if she’s ready for marriage and a baby, she needs to move out soon and figure things out with him.
I already raised one child, and I don’t want more in my home. I said I’ll buy some diapers sometimes and visit her, but this baby is not my responsibility. If she considers adoption, I’ll support her with that.
She’s not talking to me. My husband (her stepdad) thinks I should help more, but I told him he can babysit for her if he wants.
I had my daughter when I was 19. I was married to her dad, who was in the military. I still finished college on time at 22, and things were good until he died in service. I think my daughter sees my experience and thinks hers will be the same, but it’s different. Her boyfriend can’t even provide health insurance for her or the baby.
Many of you are suggesting I let her live with me and keep the baby. That’s not happening! I don’t want a baby in my home, and I won’t babysit either. I’ll do regular grandparent things like go to birthday parties and give gifts, but that’s it.