A 59-year-old woman wrote to us about a tense situation with her daughter-in-law (DIL). She wants advice on how to handle things after her DIL insulted her several times. Let’s dive into her story and share our thoughts on it.
A woman wrote to us to share her absolutely dramatic family story.
A 59-year-old woman named Rosa wrote to us recently.
She began by saying, “Hi, I’m Rosa, and I never expected to do what I did to my son’s family. But the situation pushed me to take action. Now, I’m not sure if I did the right thing. I need advice on whether I went too far.”
Rosa explained that she’s a widow and lives alone in a big house passed down from her grandma. This is where her son Nigel, now 35, grew up and where he brought his girlfriend Helen, now his wife, for the first time.
Rosa vividly remembers meeting Helen for the first time. She felt like Helen was judging her, asking about her education and background as if she were in a job interview rather than meeting her son’s mother-in-law for the first time.
Rosa and Helen have never been in a peaceful relationship with one another.
Rosa continued her story, explaining that Helen’s attitude toward her hadn’t changed much since their first meeting. Helen often made fun of Rosa for her past job as a cleaner, calling it “indecent,” and criticized her for not being well-educated.
Despite these hurtful comments, Rosa endured them for the sake of her son Nigel’s happiness. Nigel loved Helen deeply, despite her flaws, and they were starting their own family together. Rosa wanted to see less of Helen in her house but still cherished time spent with Nigel and her two grandkids, Mike and Tommy.
When Nigel lost his job as a CEO, it was a blow to the entire family, including Rosa. She knew Nigel would struggle to find a new job quickly due to his tarnished reputation. With the family needing to move out of their rented house and finances tight, Rosa made a big decision. She used all her life savings and her late husband’s inheritance to buy a house for Nigel and his family. Rosa presented it as Nigel’s decision to purchase the home, using his inheritance.
Helen was unaware of Rosa’s huge income into their family.
Rosa continued, explaining that she never told Helen the truth about who bought the house for them. Despite Nigel’s initial reluctance, Rosa also started sending money from her late husband’s savings to Nigel’s account to help with their financial struggles.
However, instead of improving, Rosa’s relationship with Helen worsened over time. Helen became even more insulting toward Rosa because of their family’s financial crisis. She blamed Rosa for raising a son who couldn’t fend for himself in an interview, despite forgetting Nigel’s previous success and hard work in his career.
The unhealthy situation reached its peak one day, during a family trip.
Rosa continued her story, explaining that she reached her breaking point during a family trip with Helen, Nigel, and her grandsons. Despite her reluctance to join the trip with Helen, she decided to go because her grandsons wanted to spend time with her.
During the trip, Helen’s behavior was disrespectful. Rosa recounted, “She insulted me the whole time. Called me an ‘old lady’ and suggested I should ‘stay home and clean’. That was the final straw for me.”
Rosa admitted that her revenge was also painful for her, but she couldn’t tolerate it anymore. She quietly returned home and took action. Since the house was bought under her name, she decided to sell it without explaining anything to Nigel and Helen. She believed they would understand the reason behind her decision given everything that had happened.
Helen didn’t accept the bad news well.
Rosa explained that on the same day she put the house up for sale, Helen and Nigel, along with their grandkids, visited her. Helen was shocked to learn that Rosa was the one who had bought the house for them and supported them during tough times.
Helen tried to manipulate the situation by mentioning the grandkids and their living arrangements. Rosa suggested that they could stay with her for a while, but Helen didn’t like the idea. Instead, she insulted Rosa, calling her names and saying hurtful things.
Nigel remained silent, trying to calm the situation, but Helen kept getting angrier. Rosa felt conflicted but ultimately felt she had to stand up to Helen’s behavior.
In her letter, Rosa questioned whether her actions were too harsh and asked for honest opinions from both us and our readers.
We’d advise Rosa to listen to what her heart and mind tell her.
We appreciate Rosa for trusting us with her story.
It’s definitely a tough situation, and Rosa’s decision might seem harsh at first. But she should trust her instincts, just like she did when she first met her daughter-in-law.
Rosa needs to decide what’s most important to her: her grandchildren’s living situation or her own feelings, which have been hurt by her daughter-in-law.
People can change, and maybe this experience will teach Helen to treat others better. Giving her another chance might be worth considering, and Rosa could reconsider selling their house.
