Planning a wedding can be happy, but also tough. Sometimes, couples disagree on what they want. Usually, they find a way to compromise. But sometimes, one person wants something so different that it makes the other person wonder if they’re making a mistake. That’s what happened to a woman who posted on Reddit looking for advice. She shared her unusual story to see if others had been through something similar.

“My partner (30M) and I (29F) are getting married soon, and we both have modern views. As the big day gets closer, my fiancé surprised me with his outfit idea. He wants to break tradition and wear something unique. When he told me he wanted to wear the wedding dress and have me wear the tux, I thought he was joking. But he was serious.

He thinks tuxedos all look the same and are too formal. He finds wedding dresses beautiful and diverse, unlike tuxedos which he sees as similar to wearing a suit for a job interview.”

“I told him it wouldn’t be right for our wedding. It might make it seem strange to our guests, even though many of them are open-minded. He seemed disappointed when I said no.

We have friends who don’t conform to traditional gender roles, and that’s never been a problem. But my partner has never shown any interest in wearing a wedding dress before. If it was something he felt strongly about or part of who he is, I might understand. But it feels odd that he wants to do it now, on our wedding day.

I’m worried about his sudden request, but I also don’t want to control what he wears.”

“So, I talked to him again to understand why he wanted this. I made it clear that I’d support him no matter what, even if he wanted to explore different gender identities or try cross-dressing. He seemed surprised by my questions. He said it wasn’t a big deal to him, he just really liked wedding dresses. He didn’t realize it might bother me because we’ve seen weddings where both partners wore dresses or both wore tuxedos.

He also said he had no problem with me wearing a dress and that the idea of switching roles was just one option among many. He assured me he’d always be honest with me about any changes in his gender or sexuality.

I suggested we could pick out outfits together that made us both feel special, whether that meant both of us wearing dresses, both wearing tuxedos, or something else entirely!”