Conflicts between a married woman and her mother-in-law are pretty common. To keep things peaceful in the family, it’s important to take care of yourself and try to maintain a friendly relationship with your in-law. Recently, a woman shared that she was really upset to find out that her mother-in-law had been interfering in her family without her knowing. She turned to the internet for advice on how to handle the situation.

“Hi,

My husband (36) and I (33) had our 18-month-old daughter looked after by my mother-in-law for the first time. Even though I was worried, we didn’t have anyone else to babysit that evening, so we asked her to help out. She agreed and brought her daughter (29) along.

For some background, it’s important to know that I’m vegan, and my husband became vegan too after we got married. We’ve decided to raise our daughter as a vegan too. But my mother-in-law doesn’t like this and often criticizes our food choices. She hardly ever comes to our house unless there’s a big family gathering or she needs something from us, even though I’ve tried many times to involve her in our lives and bond with our daughter.

Going back to the babysitting incident, before we left, I reminded my mother-in-law that our daughter can only eat certain foods from our fridge. Also, my husband and I have security cameras in the house, which are always on when we’re not there. And my mother-in-law doesn’t know they’re there.

When we got home, I decided to check the footage. What I saw on the screen shocked me – I saw my mother-in-law ordering hamburgers for herself and my sister-in-law, and then giving them to our daughter.

As I kept watching, I heard my mother-in-law saying mean things about me to my sister-in-law the whole time they were there, with nasty comments and unfair criticisms. And to make things worse, my daughter seemed upset and was looking for me, but my mother-in-law didn’t even try to comfort her. Instead, she just kept talking to my sister-in-law, saying things that made me feel small.

I shared this heartbreaking evidence with my husband, and he is really upset. And now, while I’m inclined towards cutting off contact, I’m apprehensive about what steps to take if my husband doesn’t agree. Any advice on how to navigate such a situation would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,
Kate”